Lou makes a FIFO worker an offer he can't refuse

Limited edition paper bags at a Liquor Barons store near you, get yours now!

Limited edition paper bags at a Liquor Barons store near you, get yours now!

When it comes to the liquor game, Lou has it wrapped up tighter than a Cuban cigar. Whether you come in for a bottle of wine or to have chat & cappuccino, Lou will look after you.

On a Thursday afternoon the annoying drone of a hipster talking shit about wine rings out through the shop. A man whose top-knot appears to be trying to communicate with his home planet of Wanktopia is at the tastings table.

“Oh ma gawd darling, refrigerated Sav Blanc? Should be far warmer, I would know, I’ve been to France twice”

The pretentious gourmand is an unfortunate casualty of gentrification, an ever creeping presence in suburban bottle shops. Lou signals for a manager to talk to him, “please educate our friend over there, a Sauvignon Blanc is a wine best served cold”.

A few hours pass and a FIFO worker blows in like a Pilbara cyclone. He has the undeniable thirst of a man eager to throw a handful of pineapples into the blender of hedonism and get juiced up.

The man is loudly serenading the store with an ode to his own spending power, “does this $200 one go orright with coke or nah? Moiggght just go the Makers Mark ay”. Like Natalie Imbruglia with one ply toilet paper he is torn.

How one man can sound like an entire wet-mess at an end of child maintenance payments party is a mystery. Nevertheless, the noise is interfering with a meeting Lou is having. He gestures for his manager to approach, “this man has no respect,  I want you to make him an offer that he cannot refuse”.

A dramatic pause falls over the meeting room. The manager nods, “yes, sir”. He knows what must be done.

The manager approaches man, “I see you’re looking at that Glenfiddich 21 year, fantastic Scotch, best served neat. Although, I’ve been instructed to make you an offer. Buy both bottles and we’ll throw in this Jim Beam promotional cool bag?”

Ah, alcohol related paraphernalia is the kryptonite of the bogan. The man appears hypnotised by the free bag and as predicted by Lou, he is unable to refuse the offer. “DEAL mate”.

Peace falls over the store, Lou has restored balance.

Artwork: Shakey Jakey  |  Article: Bell Tower Times


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Liquor Barons Commissions And Collaborations With Perth Visual Artists

Each morning I drink coffee from cafes around Perth, many of whom use take-away cups with featured artists or artworks on them. They range from cool to really epic, and it begs the question: Why aren't we doing something with our bottle bags?

We are an independent premium wine/beer/spirits retailer, it makes sense that we support local, independent artists. So here we are.  

We commission Perth artists to create 3 original designs in black and white to be printed onto paper bottle bags: single bottle, double and triple bottle, each bag has a different artwork. We leave the focus of each design is entirely up to the artist, our only stipulation is the design be reflective of the artist's style. The series of three bag is printed as a limited run, and distributed to Liquor Barons stores, ready for you.

We hope you learn about a local artist you may not have heard about before, that you have something new to talk about, and most importantly, support a local artist who is leading in their field. This project is unique in Australia - we are the first liquor group to do it, but I wager we won't be the last.