If you extended your long weekend this weekend (or are planning on making the AFL/NRL GF an extra big one), you're not alone. Aussies pull a stunning 90 million sick days a year, with survey results showing that only 52% are genuinely sick. 81% of us have at some time or another, 'chucked a sickie'.
So, what was your excuse this time?
We did a quick survey for some of the best excuses on file, here are some of the winners
‘I got lucky. It’s been awhile, and the Sunday sesh was particularly successful, sorry (not sorry), I’m not going to make it in today’
VERDICT: Full points for honesty but unless your boss is your best mate, this might not fly.
‘I’ve got a migraine/gastro/hungover/flu/fever/period/general malaise.’
VERDICT: You better hope you’ve got a docs certificate on hand for these extremely vague ailments
‘I flew over east for the finals and I missed my flight home’
VERDICT: Easily disprovable and ultimately making you look like a disorganised schmuck to your boss. Maybe this isn’t treading new territory for you and the day off is more important than your professional rep - if so, well played sir. Effective.
VERDICT: You’ll have to face the music at some point, the longer you leave it, the more serious the reason has to be… kidnapping? Boating drama that left you stranded out the back of Garden Island with no reception? Shark attack? Hopefully you were already planning to leave your job anyway, because this seems like the obvious outcome here…
‘My dog didn’t want me to leave this morning, she was so sad about it. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.’
VERDICT: You really should have walked her more over the weekend - this is your fault mate, best of luck to you. Looks like you might have plenty more time to be spending with her in the future!
Whatever your chosen weapon, godspeed. Meanwhile, we won’t dob on you when you pop in store to stock up <3